What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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