no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
