I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
