We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
