O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
