I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
