My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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