I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
