girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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