i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
