worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Randomize
