Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
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