Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
