i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
