grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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