He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
