Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
