Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
