brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
