We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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