you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
