Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
