that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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