I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
