guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
