i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
