i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
