O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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