do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
The air was thick with penises
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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