he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
