Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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