I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Every concussion has its silver lining
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
