Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
