I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
And then he peed in my hair
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