i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
