There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
