he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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