He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
