I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
