i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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