Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
