You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
