Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Quick, to the slutcave!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm always down for nudity.
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