i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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