He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
