even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
