Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
