It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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