We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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