If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
