He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
