allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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